Chicken and Asparagus Rolls

We absolutely love sushi and sometimes we even love the sushi that non-sushi eaters eat. And that's where Dan got the idea for these fantastic chicken and asparagus rolls that we had for dinner. You won't find any raw fish here.


You start by pounding out some chicken breasts. And I start by taking pictures of my sexy boyfriend. There is just something about a man with a mallet.

Then you wrap the chicken around blanched asparagus and blah, blah, blah, I forgot to take a picture of that. Too busy sipping my sangria. Then you place the rolls on a hot grill. And let me tell you, I think he had a hell of time keeping them from falling apart. Perhaps a couple of tooth picks that had been soaking in water would have worked nicely. OH WELL!

But he persevered and they came out great. The one on the left looks like it's falling apart a little but we won't mention that.


Then we cut them into sushi size bites and dipped them in soy sauce. And then we had a St. Patty's Day party.

So I Made A Bunch of Tarts Today

I made a bunch of tarts today. I saw this genius idea on The Pioneer Woman Cooks and seriously came up with like a million different fruits to use. Okay, maybe not a million. But at least like fifteen!


First up, I followed her exact recipe and used the apples with brown sugar and spread them out on half of a puff pastry sheet. It came out divine. Really, really freaking good.


Next up, I experimented (scary!) with some sliced strawberries and homemade cheesecake filling. To make the cheese cake filling you will need: One 12 oz. tub of cream cheese, 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla, 1/2 cup of sugar and one egg yolk. Stir together and try not to eat the entire bowl. It's for the tarts! Even thought the PW calls these tarts, I've been calling them danishes all day, so from here on out I will call them danishes.

And let me tell you something. People (boyfriend and my Dad) seriously flipped some shit over these strawberry danishes. They were unbelievable. Made more unbelievable by the fact that it was seriously the easiest thing I've ever done in my entire life. And then I made a pear and almond danish. And then I committed suicide.

And then after we ate these, we made dinner. Sometimes I like to do things in reverse. Just to spice things up a little. To be continued... (kind of like at the end of Back to The Future. That's the power of love!)

Alisha's Tequila Lime Shrimp

Last weekend, we went to a birthday party of a friend and purposely didn't eat much because I knew we'd be coming home to make this wonderful tequila lime shrimp. I still had that god forsaken cold, but dammit I was going to cook! Or rather, Dan was going to cook and I was going to make a spinach salad. And have a cocktail. And a double dosage of Day-Quil.


You thought I drank this didn't you? Didn't you?! But you're wrong. Dead wrong. Here's what you do. You take a little bottle of margarita mix (with tequila) and one or two limes. Place the shrimp in a large bowl (I used two lbs here but one would work too). Pour the entire bottle over the shrimp and then add additional lime juice and lime zest. Let sit for at least 3o minutes, up to two hours.


Then put them on skewers and grill... and all that jazz. I also made scallops as you can see there at the top of the picture. They were freaking awesome.

I served all this wonderful seafood with a spinach salad with red onion and balsamic vinaigrette and fresh corn on the cob. Does anyone else hate to eat corn on the cob? I mean, when it's on the cob? I do. Molten lava hot corn juice always squirts in my eye and corn bits and hair always get all stuck in my teeth. And you can never properly season it. One slab of butter on top ain't cuttin' it people. And don't get me started on those mini-corn holders. That's why I normally do what old people with dentures do and cut off the corn kernels with a knife and place them in an awesome decorative bowl.

Quesadilla Party

A couple weeks back, we threw a quesadilla party for Cinco de Mayo. It turned out great, although I think it requires a lot of work and prep while your guest are there so I'm not sure if we'd do it again for a party. We served them with shredded cheese (the bagged kind), sauteed peppers and onions, homemade quacamole and sour cream.


I marinated both chicken and strip steak in a marinade from Cooking Light that I often use for fajitas. I think it is the greatest and easiest marinate ever and it works for both Asian and Mexican cooking. Do try! The chicken can marinate overnight but for the steak, I only marinate for at the longest 2 hours or so. Otherwise, the steak will get grainy due to the acidity. Or so I heard. I seriously have no idea if that's true or not. But it sounds like I know what I'm talking about!


Before the night was over, Dan and I never wanted to see another quesadilla again. That is, until the next day when we ate most of the leftovers for breakfast.

Easter in May

Dan and I decided to cook up a nice bone in ham a few weeks ago and have our own little "Easter". The ham could have been better. It was a little too fatty for me. But it was a fun experiment! I used this glaze and method and although it smelled delicious while cooking, I couldn't really taste it on the ham. Though, this could have been due to the fact that I had a massive cold at the time.



I also cooked some fresh asparagus and au gratin potatoes. I cheated and used the Betty Crocker box kind of potatoes. Cut me some slack. I was terribly sick. (Doesn't that make this food all the more appetizing when you picture me sniffling and sneezing all over it?)


And I made deviled eggs. People always make deviled eggs for picnics and parties, but for once I wanted to make deviled eggs just for us. So I could eat as many as I wanted. Over several days, of course.



All in all, I thought it was a good meal. There is just something about those goddamn sodium infused Betty Crocker potatoes that makes me think they have heroin in them.

Happy Cinco De Mayo....My Chips Suck.

So I bought corn tortillas with the intention of making tortilla chips. You know, in honor of Cinco De Mayo and all that. So I cut the tortillas up into quarters and then I brushed them with olive oil and sprinkled on the kosher salt. Then I baked them in the oven on a rack at 45o deg. for about 10 minutes. The verdict: they were not good. They were edible. But not nearly as good as I have been told that homemade chips are supposed to taste like. So bring your appetites 'cause this is what you'll be eating on Saturday!!

Although, I do have to admit, the chips looked pretty damn good.

Since my chips were such a failure, I decided to celebrate another way and popped open this baby and drank the whole thing! Just kidding (about drinking the whole thing part)

FACT: When You Go To BJ's...

you will buy the most random shit...

like 600 gallons of salsa...


or 30 tons of pickles. And then when you go to make dinner, you realize you can't make much out of 600 gallons of salsa and 30 tons of pickles so....

you order a damn pizza and call it day. Happy Friday!